Tuesday, January 27, 2015

It's going to get complicated soon

There is some non-compliance going on with the decree at the moment, and I am mulling over the options.  Do I escalate and go to court and keep our boundaries firm?  I’m definitely one to say “choose your battles,” whether it involves a toddler or preschooler about to have a tantrum over a lollipop, or an elementary school student having a fit about homework or eating vegetables or what have you. 

But, when and how do we pick the battle when it comes to our exes?  I think it may be time.  But given the sensitive nature of the situation, I’ll update on that later.  I could really use some hugs and prayers now, so please universe, hugs and prayers that we will be okay!

What I did want to write about was sweetheart DD1 and her concern for Exie’s brother.  So...last night at bed time, that's usually where DD1 snuggles up and shares things. The latest was--what happens if I grow up and no one likes me? I assured her that the most important thing right now is to learn at school and just like she has friends now, she will have friends when she grows up. Then she said, “I don't want to be like Uncle * (exie's brother) he's all alone and he's always left out"

(note: uncle * lives with exie and their mom, so they are all in the same household. the girls have told me on numerous occasions that uncle * is not allowed to talk to them unless daddy says so. my ex has years of bullying his brother so there you go...)

So I said, “you know, Uncle * loves you very much and when you grow up, maybe you can talk to him more if you feel like it.”

And DD1 said, "Ever since I got in trouble with daddy and Uncle * stuck up for me, Uncle * has been left out. He won't even talk to me and he doesn't celebrate anything and he always shuts his door."

So I said, "i know it's hard to understand now, honey, but Uncle * does love you and your sister and he's probably afraid of getting in trouble." (i know, i know, not neutral but i didn't know how else to explain it!!)

She was crying a little bit and said she was worried that he was all alone and left out.

I just love DD1 and her caring heart!!! I told her, "well, that's why it's important that when we grow up we are kind to everyone, especially the people we love."

Then she moved on to talking about her friends at school and crushes (OMG) and it was very sweet night night.

Just...I don't know why i'm posting here--mostly just to share my worries and if you have any ideas on how else I could respond to DD1 when this comes up...it's not the first time she's mentioned her concern for Uncle * and I’m sure it won’t be the last.


  1. Same here - more questions as they become more aware of the situation. Hugs and prayers my dear. You got em.

    1. thank you, liv!!! <3 doing my best to stay strong and above the fray, but sometimes it's so hard, especially when i see dd1 struggling. :(