Monday, March 31, 2014

Happy, I mean, happy!

So the last two days have been pretty amazing.  My fiance’s mom flew into town for a visit and we’ve been showing her the sights out and about our beautiful home, including a sea turtle sleeping in the sun, waves washing gently into the shore just a few yards away, and the gorgeous panoramic views of the ocean and the green, verdant mountains that stretch from coast to coast.   It’s so fun to share these experiences with her—watching her exclaim in delight to the balmy trade winds and the sunfilled skies, walking in the hurried and unhurried pace of someone on vacation who wants to take everything in at once and simultaneously relax by resting, eyes closed, on the sand—it’s like we are on vacation, even though we live here, because our day-to-day world normally takes over, and it’s easier to stop and smell the flowers when a guest is among us.

My future mother-in-law is warm and caring, just as I thought she would be, even though my contact with her has been limited over the last couple of months since we announced our engagement.  She immediately told me “welcome” to the family and gave me a genuine hug at first sight, we have joked and laughed and my fiancé has been happy and content, too, and it all feels good.  So good and peaceful.  And life *should* be good—so many positive things are happening in just the next couple of months—moving in together and getting married, an upcoming summer trip across the country, sharing sights and sounds and experiences as we travel, the start to blending my sweet little family into a new iteration of what “family” means. 

Having my future mother-in-law here also makes everything so much more real and true.  I’ve met his younger brother already, and face-timed his dad and step-mom, but as I meet more of his family and spend time with them--and seeing how they’ve been so welcoming towards me and my girls, it has shifted my perspective a few steps toward believing in the good in life and celebrating what is to come.    Our plans—suddenly not just sweet dreams and grand ideas, but genuine, conscionable  actions, embedded in love and stability.

Okay, yes this is a gushy post.  I guess it’s been a while since I’ve set aside the anxiety and simply embraced the positive and light and good things in our life.  The last couple of days, she has been saying how hard it is to be so far away, now that we will be a family, she will have to come visit more often.  It’s hard for her to get away from her responsibilities, as it is for us here, but it’s so nice to enjoy the connection of my fiancé and his family.  So I will bask in it a little while longer, for as much as I can and as long as I can.

Today, my heart is happy and full, and for once, I’m not afraid the happiness will disappear.

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