thankful

Dear SurviveLiveThrive readers,

If you are out there and are reading, I just want you to know that I’m dedicated to this site and write about things as I get inspired, so please forgive the pauses.  I hope to send out a message that I’m a real person, that’s been through some serious shit (or doo doo as my daughter might call it), and am writing about it as a means to heal.

I am so very thankful for the good things in my life and for my daughters, my extended family, my friends, people i’ve known from when i was tiny to people who i’ve known for a short time.

And in some cases, it’s sad and true—that even the people closest to you, whom you might love with all your heart—even they can’t understand what it’s like to live with someone who hurts you, unless they’ve lived it themselves.  So with this site, i’m trying to find a safe place to air these thoughts, to invite comments and participation if you want to comment, to invite you into my life a little bit.

I wish i could share with you my real name and real location, but i’m cautious for the sake of my girls.  My worries are simple—I have an ex who is litigious and selfish (yes, i said it) and vengeful (yes, I said that too).  He can be a real bastard (yep, that too!).  He only knows how to love with pain attached, and he intelligent and manipulative.  I'm certain that I must be careful because of these factors.   

I don’t dwell on that though, I just wanted to let you know why I chose Jane Thrive.  I left a marriage that was filled with violent threats, violent actions, fear.  And now I have a joyful life—even with the stressors, even with the bouts of illness or worries or how to make ends meet.  Yes, there are shadows on my heart from the time from before, but the sun shines on my life most of the time and i am grateful for that.  I’ve learned to grow roots in the soil of my own making, not dependent on someone else for approval or love.  I’ve learned to water my own garden.  Some days are better than others, but I am hopeful to always be able to thrive.