A friend of mine posted on her FB: it’s been 8 years since my divorce, so at the doctor’s office, I checked “single” rather than “divorced.” I feel single, not divorced. Does it matter?
The reply comments ran along the lines of—well, it’s probably to keep medical records straight, especially if you used different names, so check divorced.
Others said, why should I have to include a part of my past in my present and future? I don’t associate myself with that past—no kids, no shared assets, no shared life, I haven’t seen him in years. Single for me!
It got me thinking, too: single or divorced? And does it matter?
I’m not defined by my divorce, nor am I defined by my relationship status, so why the label? Is there a health reason (aside from medical record tracking) that we need to label ourselves by this? /scratching my head
My five minute google search didn’t come up with anything more concrete. Label, or no label, be true to yourself. A snarky article about how one’s gentleman friend, 20 years post-divorce, would never consider himself “divorced,” but “single.”
Someone else wrote, you are not divorced, you went through a divorce. That seems to be truer to the description.
I guess we Americans are just tied to our labels and boxes, easier to group people as here, there, not here, not there, and of course our rich history is to put people who are not like “us” in the scary “other” box.
At any rate, I’m re-married now, there’s no ‘remarried’ box, I guess I'll check married. Though not solely defined by the checkmark, it probably helps the doctors know there's someone out there to contact in an emergency. I do remember being curious about what other people did, though, and feeling sympathetic with the single vs. divorced question itself.