Friday, October 21, 2016

I need a hug

I screwed up. 

I sent the girls to school today, thinking I'd see them Monday.

It turns out DD2 doesn't have school on Monday, so they'll be staying on with their dad through Tuesday, which is his visitation night, so that means they come home on Wednesday.  (I've always recommended keeping the girls together, even if one still does have school--which he reminded me of earlier today.  I'm all for one-on-one time, too, but maybe when they're a little older...)


I'm all upset and triggered and just don't know what to do with myself.

The good news--I was going to have to patchwork childcare in the morning, so now I don't have to worry about that.

The bad news, my DDs don't come home until freaking Wednesday.  And he's been mr. nitpicker scolder via emails and to my DDs on the phone, and they just take it.  The other night after he scolded DD2 for being "distracted" while talking to him (she's 6 years old for god's sake!  who wants to talk on the phone at 6 years old?!  All devices were off, no t.v. blaring like when they call from his house, good lord, so she went off on a random tangent about _the neverending story_, that's what kids do!), I held DD2 in my lap and said, gosh, sweetie, you know what you talk on the phone to your dad?  And she was like, uh huh?  I said, I know you do your very best to talk to him, and that's what matters.  She cuddled up to me even closer.  And then I said, I know that dad sometimes scolds you, but just so you know, I know you do your best and that's all you need to do.  Okay?  And she nodded and gave me a huge squeeze. 

Good grief.  I know, I know, there are worst things in the world.  I guess I'm just mad at myself, the queen of preparedness, that I didn't see this extended time coming.

So...remember all that progress I thought we'd made because of Back to School Night?  Well--he's back to nitpicky bull$$i++ty passive/aggressive email nastiness.  Poop.

Okay Jane, take a step back.  Deep breaths (preferably not when I'm thinking of poop).  Take it one moment at a time. 

I need a hug. I'm sending out hugs into the world, too.  Hugs, hugs, more hugs.


  1. HUGS! It's hard to accept that they truly never change. Ugh. I still hold out hope and have no idea why or where I get that cockamamy-idiotic idea from. Hope all goes well and you keep busy and loved up with the Hubs while the girls are on extended stay at their poopy dad's. ;) I couldn't resist the poopy part.

    1. Ha ha ha, lisa!! Thank you so much for making me laugh. :) I really needed it.
      Two more days to go! <3 <3 <3

  2. I am so glad i found this blog! I just finally got a divorce (2.5yrs in the making) and couldn't be happier. But the little i have read sounds alot like my ex. I will be reading more! Just wanted to let you know that you kind of made my day!

    1. Dear Melissa,
      Thank you so much for stopping by!!! <3 <3 <3 I'm glad it can be helpful. hugs to you as you deal with a challenging ex. There are bunch of us out here in the netherworld dealing with similar issues. Hang in there, you are not along! *hugs*