Running

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Happy Happy Easter to all!  It was a whirlwind week end of fun in the sun with my hubby and his mom who is visiting, a dance recital for DD2, an easter egg hunt and lunch with the girls, followed by a swim in the ocean.  Life is really great in that regard!

On the flip side, I woke up in the pre-dawn hours of Easter, consumed with anxiety (once again).  So I put on my runners, tiptoed outside before anyone could wake up, and took off running.  I ran past buildings, and foul smells and someone who was muttering to himself at the bus stop.  I ran by a lady walking her two dogs in the pre-dawn darkness.  I ran by quiet trees and I ran into a neighborhood where the dark ocean peeked in between houses, and I ran down a giant hill only to run up the other side and thought I’d pass out from the effort.

I ran back into an ancient, sacred valley, where the stream gurgled from the heavy rain the night before.  I ran past a green and verdant mountain, coming awake as the sun arose.  At this point, I stopped running and had a good cry.

Easter was my mom’s favorite holiday, more than any other.  She was very religious in her faith, although she was never obnoxious or hit-you-over-the-head-with-it.  She just loved Easter and all that it represented for her.  She called it her new year.

So this Easter, I ran a 6K and cried myself a river because I missed her.  Then I pulled my act together, took a shower, and got ready for the day.  And enjoyed the five hours that I had with my daughters at church and with my mom-in-law, then after dropping the girls back off to their dad, spent time with the hub and his mom and some friends down by the sea, where I went for a half mile swim and caught baby waves with one of our friend’s boogie boards.  And helped myself to two glasses of sparkling wine at the end of the day, because it was Easter after all.

I’m already plotting out my next run.  Me, the person who never liked running and thought it was for the birds.  Just recently, I’ve run an 8K on Good Friday, 5K the Tuesday before that, and a 6K last Sunday.  I think I’m running through my grief.  I think that’s okay.