Summer Solstice: Onward with that Healing Journey

Sunburst

I’ve been struggling to write this month, partly due to my children away on their extended summer vacation with their father and his wealthy new girlfriend.  They are in Europe!  And wow!  Europe! 

Truth time:  a part of me struggles with this—an example of how the man who kicked my eldest in her stomach and knocked my youngest down with a jumbo fitness ball as teeny toddlers—gets away with being a jerk and is now living the life.

Second truth:  I’m so not proud of feeling this way.  Two steps forward and one step backward on the healing journey.  I’m angry and sad about the injustice.  And it doesn’t help that the said new girlfriend took my youngest’s Mother’s day gift that her teacher said my little one worked on all year at school--that’s another thing that I’m supposed to “accept” for the good of the all.  Ouch.  A month later, and I’m still sore from that scenario.

So, I’ve been taking stock of my “tips” for coping when your kids are on an extended visitation that I wrote back in 2014.  They still apply—leaning into the relaxed household pace in my temporary all-adult house, spending time with friends, relaxing with the hubs, reading a book or catching up on a show.  And dedicating myself to exercise—I did an 8 mile run last Saturday!

Taking stock--over the past two weeks:  I’ve celebrated a friend’s birthday, had a mom’s night out, went to see stand-up comedian Ali Wong with some girlfriends (and if you haven’t seen her new movie, Always Be My Maybe on Netflix, you are seriously missing out on some laughter in your day!), caught up on reading, caught up on t.v. shows with the hubby, like Jessica Jones, watched movies, jumped into the ocean and had fun being silly with coworkers and friends.  Took naps.  Oh sweet naps.

I also have an appointment with my therapist on Monday to keep working on letting go.  How can I just let go of these negative, downer emotions.  How can I rise above and stay above?  How can I remain in the peace zone?

For this Solstice, then, I’m working on letting the light in.  Past actions do not have to define me.  Maybe they cast shadows on the longest day of the year, even as I walk in the sunlight.  Maybe I just acknowledge the shadows in order to embrace the light in my life.  Hello, shadow.  Please step aside so I can embrace today’s sunrays. 

Practice kindness.  To myself, to my coworkers, to my friends, to my family.  The girls come home on Monday, too.  I can’t wait to hug them.  I can’t wait to hear their voices and laughter and help them get to tennis or their tennis team party and eat dinner with them like any other mundane Monday night.  To peek in to see if they’re settled into bed and at their sleeping faces, knowing they will be safe at home.

I may not feel like it all the time, but the other thing I need to embrace on this lovely Solstice day—is that somehow everything will be okay. I can do it.  May you have peace, may you have happiness, may you have healing.