Friday, February 15, 2013

Dear Reader,

After living through a long process of leaving someone whose anger threatened the safety of myself and my children, I wanted to start a blog or a site, where I might reach others who might need help.  Who might be wondering.  Who might be thinking.

I know the word "abuse" has many bells and whistles associated with it.  I will tell you right now, that for years I didn't talk about what was happening to us; I didn't recognize it as abuse.  He was educated, he was gainfully employed, he came across to the world as charming, wonderful, caring, such a doting family man.

It was only behind closed doors that he let his anger come out.

So maybe that is what I will first write about, and leave out there in the world to read.  Abuse comes in many forms.  It comes in words.  It comes in name calling.  It comes in swearing and threatening.  It comes in breaking your children's toys.  It comes in beating up a family pet.  It may not leave bruises and broken bones (at first), but it is still domestic violence.

Are you always at fault if something goes wrong?  Do you feel like you live in a mine field, that no matter how careful you do things in your house, how carefully you 'follow the rules,' there is always something that goes wrong, some disaster that happens?  That such 'disasters' could be minor, such as forgetting to bring home the milk, and then there is an angry outburst that might include:  yelling, swearing, throwing things, breaking things, being called names? Or escalate in other such acts that you can't even begin to describe?

And then as quickly as it comes in, it disappears, and you are left thinking--did I imagine this?

You didn't imagine it.  It happened.  And you are not alone.

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