something kind of big just happened. someone involved with our case has resigned. that someone had lost her neutrality and was emotionally pressuring my daughter to 'feel dad's pain,' and asking her about custody and visitation with her dad. which i think is fine to discuss with my daughter--IF my daughter brings it up to be discussed. don't go needling her and making her feel guilty, first of all, she's too young to even know what guilty means. she already worries too much about her dad, she doesn't need an extra layer of responsibility placed on her. Rather, she needs to be supported as we transition post divorce and into the future. that it's going to be okay and it's okay to have feelings and sometimes be angry and sometimes be happy and sometimes be relieved. her feelings are her own and it's not someone else's job to bring more complications into the picture.
truthfully, i think it's best for my children to understand that an authoritative force outside of mommy and daddy came into play. to understand that this is nobody's "fault" but the factors of our lives created a situation where we have this arrangement and that it will be okay.
with relief comes new stress to find a new person into our lives and i pray that person can be neutral. i'm not asking for anything more than to support my children in this transition. please let this person be neutral.