Friday, March 8, 2013

keep swimming

i can't count how many days where i've found myself completely overwhelmed. just completely.  the ex notwithstanding (he is a quiet, slick type, who loves to stick subtle, nasty comments into you, as if with a butter knife, ugh), just the daily chores/pressures that is single parenting.  one of the kids suddenly breaks out in fever, and i have to call into work.  the other one starts hollering because she wants big sister's graham cracker.  it's stop and go traffic because the healthy kid still needs to get to school, even when the sick kid needs to get taken to the doctor.  the doctor can't get you in until the middle of the day so you are stuck in traffic some more.

in the grand scheme of things, someone might say: at least you have your kids.  at least you CAN drive your kid to the doctor.  at least your other kids gets to go to school.  yes.  i know and i am eternally grateful. and thankful.  i do not minimize those things.  one only needs to go to 'first world problems' site or whatever and see how lame it is to complain about things (i.e. running, clean water, that is awesome!  such an overlooked lovely wonderful thing).

and yet, it's OKAY to feel overwhelmed.  holy shit, if you could do everything perfectly, wouldn't the world be great.

i find breaking it down in little baby steps helps.  or just throw your hands in the air and repeat: just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

eventually, you will get to your destination. it's okay.  be kind to yourself.

p.s. if that doesn't work, i find singing opera slightly cathartic.

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