Proud Mama Moments While Coparenting my Tween

Big-Little-Tree

The other day on the way home from school, fighting traffic with DD1 riding in the backseat, DD1 nonchalantly announced that she won an award and there was going to be a ceremony at school.  It went something like this:

DD1 (fiddling with her phone music keyboard game):  I-won-an-award-and-there’s-a-ceremony-and-dad-wants-to-go-does-that-mean-you-want-to-go-too? 

Me:  Wow!  What kind of award, sister?

DD1: A writing award.

Me:  That’s great, DD1!  I’m really proud of you!  And there’s a ceremony?

DD1: Yes-it’s-before-school-dad-says-he’s-going-does-this-mean-you’re-going-too.

Me:  Well, of course I want to go, sister.  I need to know more about the award and the ceremony, though was it announced?

DD1: I got an EMAIL.  And I didn’t think you could go because you have to be at work!

I could tell she was struggling.  Having two households can be stressful.  At the same time, I had no idea what was going on and needed to learn more.  She continued to tell me that she wasn’t sure what the writing award was but that she was invited by an email and it was to include breakfast and a quick ceremony before school.  Also, she didn’t want any of us to go, but dad said he’s going so does that mean you’re going too.  Of course I said that I wanted to go, to which she responded with more sighs and stomping around the house.  Even A wanted to attend, but after all the stomping and sighing (tweens sure do stomp and sigh a lot), we came to the conclusion that while there are events to hang our hats on where all parents needed to attend (i.e. school-wide performances, graduations, etc.), perhaps this half hour ceremony before school was not one of them, given her reaction.

Later, DD1 confirmed other parents were also attending and we realized the ceremony was the morning that I was on carpool duty for drop off, so I let DD1 know that I was going.  When she spoke by phone with her dad on the phone later, she told him, well MOM wants to go now, so you can go too, I GUESS.  You know to be FAIR.

There were two more days to go by (including an overnight with her dad), so I let DD1 know, listen sister, if you REALLY don’t want parents to go, I’ll reconsider this, okay?  To which she just answered with a short:  IT’s FINE.

Then some sweet little surprises happened to let me know it was okay to go:

1)  She asked if I had a blouse for her to wear to the ceremony.  Then right before bed, she raided my closet and picked one out.  (gasp! We’ve gotten to the point where she wears my clothes!  Lol).

2)  When I asked if there was a place that sold coffee/tea at school, so I could hang out after drop off and before the ceremony started—she asked, why?  And I responded, well, I figured you wouldn’t want me hanging around you and your friends so I could go hang out somewhere.  DD1 thought about this for a while and later that afternoon, informed me: I guess you can sit with us, mom.  It’s okay.  You can sit on the side.  Just don’t be so loud.  (tee hee hee, what me?  Loud?)

3)  Arriving at school and at the tables where DD1 sits with her friends, her tweens nodded at me, and DD1’s BFF told everyone I was her “second mom.”  I smiled and said good morning and focused on playing Words with Friends, so as not to disturb the force.

4) Although, after talking with two of DD1’s friends for a little bit (careful not to be too loud), they decided they wanted to come with us.  So we all tromped over to the ceremony and sat together.

5) I asked DD1 if she wanted me to invite her dad to sit with us, and she shook her head adamantly.  But she didn’t object to me helping her catch his attention, calling his name and waving.  (I’ll follow up with her about that it’s okay if everyone sits together…)

6) When her teacher gave me a big hug and later, invited me to take a group photo of the winners, DD1 SMILED!  Awww…

7) It turned out DD1 was being recognized for her poem…and she let me READ IT.  And asked me what I THOUGHT about it.

8) We had a nice discussion about what the symbolism meant and how proud I was of her for thinking of it.  Also, why I thought it had been recognized out of the two grades it was represented.

9) She shared with me some of her other writing.  <3 o:p="">

10)  Later, we celebrated because I got out of work early—I took her and her BFF (“second daughter”) out for bubble tea and cookies before we headed home.

All in all!  A very good day in the life of a tween mom.  Heart full!!!!