Hanging in there

I’m doing my best to hang in there.

Hubby is really stressing with work so he’s been speaking to me in caveman monosyllables at times.  I’m really stressing with the CS modification and feeling powerless to “solve” the problem on my own, trying to let go of that and let God, so to speak.  Let go, because I don’t have control.  To hang in there and live and make the best of it.

Some days, I’m really good at it, and I’ve been riding a pretty good run lately.

Today, not so good.  Feeling depressed and defeated and needled and just done.  Got another email where lovely Ex is pointing out my deficiencies (DD1’s cafeteria account is delinquent, I’ve explained many times before the check gets submitted, and it just crosses paths with the notices.  Also…I haven’t seen DD1 all week, due to DD2’s spring break, so go figure that I haven’t received the messages.) 

You know how we divorced mom veterans often say “don’t sweat the small stuff?”  I normally believe that, too.  Again, not having the greatest moment with it right now; this last email just felt like being poked with a steel pointed boot while I’m down.

Still…I do have some things to look forward to—Exie is on a work trip, so that means I have extended, uninterrupted time with the girls for the next week.  I didn’t have to give up a week end in exchange, because our week ends are booked with activities over the next two months.

Yesterday, the girls all cuddled up with our new puppy and DD1 took a selfie of the three of us, plus dog, ha ha ha!

We actually don’t have much planned for this week end, so hopefully we can relax a bit—it’s nice to have a break from the schedule.

DD1 is still saying she wants to do tap dance in addition to ballet.

DD2 is saying she now wants to try ballet instead of gymnastics.

My father-in-law and his wife will be in town soon—the girls are ecstatic and can’t wait.  On the last skype, DD2 said, “Grandpa, can’t you visit right NOW?”

Keep swimming.  Just keep swimming.