Monday, March 30, 2015

Happy Palm Sunday Week end! from a fun filled week end with the girls. But that’s a good type of exhaustion!

Although I have to fully confess on having a parenting fail yesterday.  DD2 decided to have a fit at the end of church because she was hungry and wanted (demanded) jelly beans that were given to her in sunday school. i said no, not until after lunch. tantrum ensued. le sigh. note to self re: power struggles with a pre-schooler:  disengage!

On the flip side, we got an early start to coloring eggs, played with the neighbors on bikes, took the girls to see _Home_ --very sweet, DD1 and I cried, because we are softies! ha ha ha. lots of hugs and love. And before said tantrum, the girls sang with the children's choir and we also marched with our palm leaves for Palm sunday... 
DD1 seriously suspects that A and I are the easter bunny...ha.  What to do, what to do?

As for the legal stuff--I’m still waiting to hear back from my attorney on what to do about the child support.  I know deep down I have to face him, and after all that we’ve been through, you’d think I would be okay with that.  Even stronger.  And in some ways, I am.  In others, I feel helpless and scared, and if there is a way to NOT have to face him in such an adversarial setting, I think I may take it.  It brings up too much trauma and fear.

At the very least, I’m glad that even with this cloud at the back of my mind, that’s where it’s staying—in the back burner, and not taking over my every day life.  So that’s progress, right?  When I think of this week end, chock full of fun and activity-- I was concentrating on what we were doing (rather than what may be happening with re: the ex), and even though I hiccupped on the parenting end, I was able to pick up my imperfections and have a positive experience with the girls.

Saturday morning, DD2 and DD1 woke up before me, hubby was still asleep.  They crawled into bed for some early morning snuggles, then I whispered to them to get up and brush their teeth and get dressed, so we could go play with our new puppy G.  A few minutes later, DD2 came into my bathroom and whispered in her stage voice (i.e. a whisper shout), “G pooped…and it’s EVERYwhere!!”  I told her to go back downstairs, but not to open the gate (we have built G her very own living space a.k.a. my kitchen) and DD2 could pat G through the bars, but not to let her out.  I hurried to finish brushing my teeth and get dressed, but when I opened the bathroom door, the bed was empty, and when I got downstairs, hubby had already cleaned up everything, the kitchen was spotless!  All that was left to do was for me to clean G’s paws, who was running around our yard outside, since she clearly tramped around her own poo, ha ha ha.  (I swear—having a puppy is like having a new baby in the house, poo and pee galore!)

So then, my usual hubby-who-does-not-hurry-out-of-bed-in-the-morning suggested that we all go out to breakfast—to our favorite little breakfast spot, a sleepy diner tucked away near our beautiful green mountain view.  Once there, and while waiting for our chocolate chip pancakes and eggs, Hubby told the girls the story of how we went there on our second date, and sat in the booth right next to the one we were in that morning.  Then I told the girls that the view of the mountains was so beautiful, that I asked A to come sit by me, so he could see it—since his back was to the view.  Then hubby said, oh no, that’s what mommy THINKS happened, but really, I just wanted to sit next to her, so I just let her think it was because of the view.  Both girls giggled hysterically at that story…and later I heard DD1 repeat it to one of her favorite aunties.  Very sweet.

So…swoon.  All in all, a happy week end.  I feel blessed and thankful.


  1. Catching up again. Glad there are some high points to contrast the lows. Hugs sweetie.

  2. What a great weekend. Minus the tantrum but hey, that's what they do when there's jelly beans involved! Finding your joy in spite of the fear and unknown with the ex is what will keep you going, Jane. Nice post, full of hope. You got this! Don't let him make you feel small.

  3. Thank you so much, Lisa! I'm doing my best to hang in there. I should have some news soon.